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Why At Times I Don't Believe

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:24



There are things about God that I believe without question. His saving power, for one, the life, death and ressurrection of Jesus Christ are just a few truths that I hold without any doubt whatsoever. The biblical truths that we all benefit from, I have no problem embracing and believing. The areas of unbelief for me have always been personal. That's not to say I don't have a personal faith. I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ that has given me so much joy, grace , mercy and peace! But I have to admit that when it comes to any struggle with unbelief, it has always been in my personal faith.



Like the father in distress over his demon-possessed son, I believe that Jesus is able to heal, but there is a hint of doubt in his plea found in Mark 9:21 "If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." Jesus detected the doubt as well.



"If you can?", Jesus restated.



Why do I struggle with unbelief at times when I need him to respond to my stress or distress? It has a lot to do with fear. I know that Jesus is able, but is he willing? What happens to me if he is not? There's a fear of rejection, of totally letting go and throwing my arms up in surrendering! What if he thinks, "that's a dumb idea, why would I do that for you?" My fear probably stems from being afraid to ask my dad to come through for me. We were thousands of miles apart so it was no surprise to me if he just couldn't do what I ask. So, consequently, I wouldn't ask for fear I would get my heartbroken, if he said no. I never gave him the chance to let me down.



My fear with God is much the same. I fear my faith would be shaken if God chooses not respond in the way I hoped and prayed. So to protect myself from the pain, I wouldn't ask him to do faith building kinds of things in my life. I forget that Jesus is not all that intimidated by my distress nor is he afraid of losing me if he chooses a different way to deliver me or answer my call.



"Everything is possible for him who believes" Mark 9:23



I don't realize how much it pleases God when I put my faith in him, even at the expense of me looking silly or him saying 'no'. (or even 'no, I have a better way.') What a radical thing to say to a man who is desparate and struggling in his belief.



"Everything is possible for him who believes."



If anyone would one say this to me in my weakest moment, I would think, 'what an irresponsible thing to say!" What happens when reality sets in and crushes my dreams? But then I'm encouraged by the father's desparate response to Jesus "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"



He's pleading with Jesus to help him overcome his unbelief; to guard his heart from fear and doubt! That's what I need to ask of God regularly. When God prompts me to belief in Him, in radical ways, I don't want to be on the shores or drifting in the boat of fear and doubt! I want to walk on water, man! Even at the risk of drowning, praise God! Afterall, who's more equipped to save me than Jesus Christ?

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