If I dared to put everything I am under personal scrutiny,
what would I find? If I stripped myself
of the labels and no longer defined myself or limited my identity to my
vocation or my scholarship then who would remain? Could I love that person? Could that person
be loved? Could he be recognized?
Somewhere along the way in my life, I allowed myself to be limited by
narrow definitions, like student, teacher, preacher, employee, and soldier. Knowing all the while that such titles don't
begin to define me. I even felt trapped
by my own name. It was my father’s
name. I spent most of my life undoing
and detaching my own identity from that of my father, because of the
interpretation of his own life heavily influenced that name in a negative way. I am not a name, a title or an employee. Should I be known by my income or my outcome?
By my social "friend"ships or by my relationships? If I dared to put everything I think I am on
trial and under oath, would I be guilty of the crimes of impersonating a human
being or will all the charges against me be dropped, because I was found to be
a child of God? Should I be cross examined or let the Cross examine me?
I've always had big feet. It's true. There was never a moment in my childhood when my feet were not an object of frustration and ridicule. And those "dogs" were all over the place, facing the wrong direction, tripping over themselves, tripping over coffee tables, desks, chairs, other people. It was embarrasing. Watching my step was a full time job. Since becoming a man, I've mastered my former oppressors (my size 14's) and you would hardly noticed my attention to detail. However, today, at 40, I'm still watching my step. With so much experience and success with walking and watching my step, I've discovered that the same is true in my spiritual life as well. I haven't always watched my step in life and of course, it resulted in me finding myself in all kinds of traps, snares and dead ends. I've spent years tripping over my sinful habits and walking down dirt roads that lead to nowhere. To no one's blame but my own. After experiencin...
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