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Day Seven: I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me This

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I wish someone would have told me that dating was a waste of time.  All of the games that people play with your heart just isn’t worth the pain.  What I was looking for was greater and more meaningful than a girlfriend anyway.  I wish I had spent that time focusing on my dream of being a musician and a writer.  I loved music, poetry and plays.  I used to write poetry, pretending they were records and write plays pretending they were movies.  Its amazing to me that with all of my dreams, I never thought or imagine that I could actually be a musician.  It was just some fantasy that never fully developed into something real. 

I wish someone would have taught me how to fix cars.  I know I hated that idea as a kid, but really, if I had the right teacher....  There’s nothing more frustrating than being at the mercy of someone who can do something that you can’t.  I’ve been cheated by shade tree mechanics for years.  I wish I had someone who could have shown me how to fix my car for myself. 

I wish I would’ve had a math teacher.  The sad thing is, my dad was a math teacher! but he was 2000 miles away and that’s another issue entirely.  I wish I had someone who could see my potential, given me confidence and taught me algebra, trigonometry and geometry. I wish I would have cared more myself, but I just didn’t believe I could do it.  I was always behind in math.  I felt my life was behind.  Belief is a powerful thing.

I wish I someone had told me to never quit basketball tryouts.  I had no good reason to quit other than I was afraid I sucked so bad that I would’ve been cut anyway.  I realize now that being cut would’ve been better than me quitting! I loved basketball! So many of my loves were never realized because I didn’t believe I could make them come true.  I just didn’t believe.  There was too much space and time between what I dreamed of doing and what I could believe I could do.

I wish I had someone to tell me that failure didn’t mean defeat.  Afraid of failing did.  I spent most of my childhood afraid to fail.  I would try some things but if it looked like I could never get it done or accomplish it or reach it, then I would quit.  It’s a hard thing to admit that I spent all of that time wishing upon a star and never believing that I could be one of those stars.

That’s why I want my home to be a place where my kids have the freedom to dream big and believe that God can empower them to make those dreams come true.  I love to watch them create.  The light in their eyes is my answered prayer.  My children will not have to write a essay like this!

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whatever

when you notice me do you really know it's me cause i'm a be what i'm supposed to be whether your near or not that close to me fact is, i really don't practice this and i can careless how black this is you can't charge me like paying taxes and turn around and ask me to act like this drag your feet, slur your speech grab your crotch before you teach i understand that's some of the things you see but what does that have to do with me seriously...like, i wanna know how many brothers do you know not all of us are quick, some are slow some, like me, say "four" some brothers say "fo" just because i say "for" don't make me no better i just know how to dress for the weather whether i need to be direct or clever if i'm still not black enough...whatever
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